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i am a fool

This is becoming real. 

Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. 

With all of the waves of reality striking, the business of being a barn intern, learning how to adult, this trip is coming, and I am started to see how God is preparing me for it.

 

Two months until I leave Alaska and the dear sisters and brothers I have here. 

 

Three months until training camp where it all begins-welcoming me also back to the humid heat of the south that I have actually missed-I am going to die though…-20 was warm here in Alaska…

 

Five months until launch.

 

We have such a small window of time that vanishes with a snap of a finger. That trendy phrase YOLO-you only live once-is in a way true. You only live one life…..for us as believers we are here to tell people about Christ and his overwhelming love for each person. 

Every day I have a deeper excitement of “I actually get to go”, “I actually get to be the hands and feet of Jesus”, but I already have been too. He is just bringing me into new waters, and I want to keep going and never stop for He goes before me.

I have come to a point in time of my life-ok, yesterday-that I can actually tell myself, see for myself, that I am a fool for Christ. I am actually crazy. He loves me so much. He let me wake up this morning-as well as you- therefore He is not finished with us yet. 

He has woken me up to see, to see His people that are broken, hurting, that need Him so badly. For I needed and still need Him desperately. He makes my heart ache to be able to see the broken be healed and the lost come to the light through Him.

The other week, a man said: no one has to tell a person to talk about what they are passionate about, it becomes natural to them. It IS natural for them to want to talk about it to EVERY one. I want to be that believer that loves my Abba so much that talking about Him is natural, is fluid, and that takes spending time studying His word, listening to Him, obeying Him, and spending time with His people.

Ultimately, my life is not my own. For He bought my life with a price far above gold or silver or rubies, He saved me from going further down the road to hell. 

All I want is to be in His presence even if it means forsaking the comfort of this world and going to dangerous places.

 

Abba, I pray that You break each of us completely so that all we have left is You, for You are the only one who can pick up the pieces and place them together. Give everyone who reads this a boldness of faith that they may not be ashamed of the gospel of faith, that they share it; that they become fools for Christ. 

May we all live fully and completely for You. Tear down the idols that keep us from surrendering the lives You have given us. You are before us. You will never leave us nor forsake us. Thank you for running after us even though we run away for fear of what might happen. Teach us that You are in control. Teach us what that means.